So this is a strange story.... a hilarious one, but something that will haunt me for the rest of my time here in Australia.
I arrived home from Future Music Festival at 1am and noticed that a couple of people were still awake in the house, including my landlord, Rod. I was obviously pretty drunk and didn't really want to stop and chat so scuttled past the living room with a little wave and dived into my room. Annoyingly, I noticed a huge spider up in the corner of my room and so I went back out into the kitchen to call for Rod to come and catch it for me, as he's so kindly offered to do so after my Huntsman Spider experience a few months back. He wandered into the bathroom to grab a tissue to squish the spider with and then just as he was walking back through the kitchen towards my room, I noticed something....
HE WASN'T WEARING ANY PANTS.
There he was, my landlord, striding purposefully across the kitchen with his spider-squishing apparatus, without any pants on. And by pants I don't mean trousers, I really do mean pants. Those things which hold you penis and balls and hide keep your decency? Yeah those. Any sign of those were looooooong gone.
And it gets worse.
He strode on by, completely oblivious to my pasty white shocked face, into my room and (now this is the worst bit), CLIMBED UP ONTO MY BED and REACHED UP to get the spider from the corner of the room.
I have three words for you....
ASS. IN. FACE.
His horrible, saggy, spotty, 45 year old MAN BUM was just hanging out below his tshirt for all the world to see. It all got a bit too weird and I didn't want him to turn around triumphantly holding the spider so that I could have a full frontal view of his meat and veg at eye level, and so I sloped off into the kitchen and busied myself pouring a glass of water. Eventually he left my room, and I mumbled a kind of 'thanks' at him and then hid back in my room, frantically searching for my phone to tell Harry what had just happened.
I will never forget what I saw.
And the most annoying bit is, is that he didn't even catch the bloody spider, did he.
B
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