So, at about 3.30pm Goose and I decided to nip to Coles (supermarket) and set off on our way up High Street. Halfway up the hill, we discovered a bike and two little feet poking out of the bush. These feet belonged to Diana, and poor Diana was not in a very good state. At first, we thought that she had fallen off her bike and hit her head and was badly concussed, but after getting a little closer we smelt the pungent smell of alcohol (definitely Goon), and realised that she was just, excuse my french, really fucking hammered. She had been quite sick and was obviously not feeling too well, and so we tidied up her hair with a complimentary hair tie and snapped into Mummy Mode.
We learnt her name, and asked if we could borrow her phone and managed to call her housemate, Carly. Carly said she couldn't come and get her because she was getting ready for a job interview, but we said we'd walk her home and she gave us the address. We stood Diana up and whilst I took her bike, Goose held her up by her backpack, and we set off on one of the most hilarious journey's I have ever had!
Diana soon perked up a bit and thanked us for rescuing her, and whilst she took to marching ("I'm going to march, it will sober me up!"), we tried to get her to tell us why she was so drunk. She didn't seem to really know the answer, or what she had been doing, but it was something to do with a sports event at UNSW (she was dressed in sports kit) and it was "all Harry's fault". We're guessing she'd had a match of some sort and then they'll all hit the Goon pretty hard, and then when she attempted to cycle home, the hill was a little too much for her and she fell off her bike and passed out in the hedge. She had no recollection of even getting on her bike, let alone falling off!
We ambled along slowly, me trying to master walking-pace peddling, and Goose holding Diana back by her backpack like a toddler making sure she didn't step out into the road. Here's a little video we took so that we could add her on Facebook and name and shame her the next day....
Isn't she hilarious!? Definitely my favourite Aussie that I've met so far.
After many embarrassed thankyous, lots of laughter, repeated invites to a BBQ and declaritions that "Brits were awesome", we returned Diana to her house, and Carly, and left her to drink some water and have a much needed shower.
Despite the whole round trip to Coles and back taking nearly 3 hours (it should have been 1, tops!) Goose and I felt very proud of our good samaritan deed of the day and are thoroughly looking forward to hearing from Diana tomorrow!
B
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